9 days after i posted it! i just checked it and it was horrifying! (exaggeration at my best)

my sister and i (and her beibi) went to Bahrain City Centre yesterday. and we were looking inside every shop coz we hardly have the time to go out a lot. and i am in dire need of a planner! my gosh sa pilipinas, ilan-ilan ang planner na pinamimigay, mula sa mga printing press, book shops, hanggang sa Mama Sita's meron! now January's almost over and i still don't have one!

and after tiring meself, di pa rin pala ako nakabili... yun lang.

something interesting happened today. i got an offer to sing in a lounge at a certain hotel. and i like to sing, more than anything else. music is on the top of my list of likes. (next is reading materials)

so i invited my friend if we can check out the place. it was a nice hotel. and it was a nice lounge. well-lit, not too crowded, cozy and a little sophisticated. so, of course, i had to see myself if i can sing there. but i remembered gladys guevarra, and how she performs on stage, how she sings, and i wanted to be like her. very confident and very, very good.

but i can't do it. i had to consider so many things before grabbing that tempting opportunity. first is my spirituality. i can't sing in the church if i'm gonna sing there. you can't walk with God, and run with the devil...

next is my present job. although the owner is offering it as a part-time job for me, (and believe me, the rate is higher than my present job, for only 4 days a week!) i have to be considerate to my present job, may term dun e, kaso i forgot... it's 3.28 am, mind you.

and many other things. so as much as i love to sing, and be even a little like gladys, i have to turn it down... i'm contented watching gladys guevarra do her act.

speaking of gladys, she remembers me now :) but she's nicer on e-mails.

i'm not happy. it wasn't a happy birthday at all...

although... i really appreciate lahat ng bumati sa akin... whether it be through SMS, friendster comment, and personal greeting... and for the gifts. yung iba, material, yung iba gift of friendship. i really appreciate it.

but i'm not happy talaga. i am so disappointed. but still, thank you po Jesus, kasi i am alive. naabutan ko pa ang 25th birthday ko, despite all the hardships di ba? and all the paranoia.

hay... let's begin the silver year. whatever is in store for me, God only knows.....

i'm watching gladys guevarra's videos on youtube. and the more i watch her, the more i like her. she's very talented. and she sings very well. so well, in fact i believe she can surpass regine velasquez, given a chance. she belts out high notes without so much effort, and one comment even says that she really is singing, not shouting like some other singers, which obviously is, um, ok i won't mention the name.

on PBB, she said something that i really believe in, and would stand for. "you are the captain of your own ship..." (...the chu-chu of your own soul -- haha hindi ko din alam!) and that is the fact. no matter what most people think or say about you, at the end of the day, you will be left responsible for your decisions, and not them. so if you will value their opinion, and not following your own instinct, or your own judgment, when the time comes that you realized it was a mistake, you got no one else to blame but you. AND no one else will suffer the consequences, but you.

if you think about every decision you will make so hard, but so carefully, even if it turns out to be a mistake, you will have no regrets. because you know you chose well. you have chosen what will make you happy for the day.

before, when i was asked if i have any regrets in life, my answer was none. because i chose what will make me happy. if it entailed some hardships, i will still stand by my decision, because i chose it. i was happy with it. and the troubles it entailed were out of my control. and i really wouldn't have it any other way. i have become what i am today, because of my decisions, and if i i had opted the "other choice" i don't think i will like the person i would have been.

so back to gladys... i really like her voice (one of her many talents) and self-confidence.... and complexion. ;) i wish i could meet her.