the present is year is about to end in about 22 hours and 37 minutes. another year to look back to. there were good days, and of course there will always be bad. it must always be balanced or else, you're abnormal.

is sad. sooo sad. and sleepy. kasi may pasok.

how do i start?

it's almost christmas. i remember my last christmas, it was simply the best. i was so contented with the life i had last year. we had the perfect apartment. not so extravagant, but decent --and always neat (thanks to me)...

i know, i should be sleeping. but i was browsing through some friend requests on friendster while resting, and some of them were from Guimaras, and so it took my attention...

it was astounding. how could i have woken up with a headache for three consecutive days? it's a mystery to me yet...

i couldn't believe i woke up 3 pm today! i hardly believed my sis when i asked her what time it was and she said 3! that's how exhausted i was this past week, and i am so happy that i was able to catch up on my sleep...

i believe i've written before that i like meryl streep. i first started liking her on her movie "falling in love" which was like the english version of "minsan minahal kita" of sharon and richard, which i also (used to) like.

just about to sleep. why so late? i'm wondering too...

i don't know why i'm sad today. maybe they've noticed, kuya francis called me "emo" when he looked at the rearview mirror of his car and i was keeping my silence back there, on the way home from Seef Mall.

it's already 12 midnight here. so it's 5 in manila and i'm supposed to be sleeping but i need to do some e-mails, so i thought of posting a blog.

i went to a dentist today. "A" dentist because she wasn't MY dentist. i just thought of trying her out. it ended well, --um after i bribed her by asking if i can just pay for the whole session and go home.

i have a low tolerance on pain, that's why. i guess i spoil myself too much that i don't want anyone to hurt me. or maybe it's narcissism at an early stage (hahaha ---guess not!)

my mom has arrived. have to go.

i'm a little sad today. this morning i woke up at 4.30 a.m. and felt the heaviness in my heart because i am leaving in 15 days. the documents arrived yesterday,. and that's when it weighed on me -- i'm really leaving. the past days, i just took it lightly, but now it's kinda hard. when i think about it, it's like something's squeezing my heart, that's how painful it is.

if i have to think that i will be toooo far away, from all the people that i so care about and love, it's really so much reason for me to stay. but i really have to do this, for myself, most especially. i mean, i have many reasons to go, but i don't think it can back-up my whim if not for the fact that i HAVE TO do it for my own good.

i watched the youtube video on jade's profile, and it's amazing and awesome and a tear-jerker. the beauty of life, the amazing transitions and growth of something you never knew existed. and then there's the anticipation of the life that you bear inside you, and how blessed it is to be a mom. oh well, im just happy for her, for them, i mean. i'm just excited to see them. i'm excited to be with my sister.

the first pizza i made... or helped make. super delicious.

half-way through devouring it, i decided to take a picture of it sans the presentation. but continued on devouring it afterwards...

is this the first time i put a tagalog title on my blog?

anyway...

i met wanda today at national bookstore... ang ganda ni wanda! :) and natutuwa talaga ako sa kanya, and ang pagtatagalog ko ang proof ko. kasi naman eh.

even bob ong has not influenced me that much, though i like all his books except stainless longganisa and mac arthur. and he's very very mysterious. while tonight, i saw wanda's blog, friendster and multiply already!

anyway,,, back to wanda... natutuwa talaga ako sa kanya. medyo nakiki-kilig pag nagkkwento about marcus. at sobrang natatawa pag nagsalita si byron!

hay naku... gusto ko nang maging bakla.

last night, i thought i was going to die of headache! but i've found out what i really, really wanted to eat when i am sick of migraine -- crackers and apple. walang amoy e. just perfect.
i wanted to put zelle's song here, but i can't. parang... it's time to change skin???

there's something wrong with me. i'm just not sure about what aspect. siguro lahat.

i feel disappointed, with everything that's happening. i am disappointed with myself also. i could be a better person. but i chose not to be.

i'm so done... but i'm not so satisfied. so maybe in just a few months, i'll have to change all these again.

but i'm really okei with it.

so,... story time.

this week, my friends and I went to powerplant mall. stroll lang, wala naman kasing mga bala. i liked it better than shang, because it's more liblib. whattaword.

i mean, iya villania's being made up in aldo and they seem to be having a shooting but no one, not one human, dares stop just to watch her. like it's all natural for them. celebrities go in the cinema without minding fans screaming their hearts out and mobbing them to death.

i stood next to heart in nbs' counter and they're like invisible (only i am in awe -- i don't get to see them everyday, mind you!)

but the real fun that night was when the mall was about to close. the lights were going out, and in came dolphy, walking soooooo slowly. not intentionally, but because of age. so we had a joke running on our way home. if you wanna see dolphy, run into the mall just when it's about to close. he's sure to come. (-- it's a joke, dumdum!)

one downer: they don't have plato wraps. pesto.

i'm almost done! just my marquees, and my prompt and i can sleep well. and:

i need to put back my tagboard or else i will have to settle with a guestbook, which is the last thing i would ever want on my site. it's primitive. it's for big sites. cute sites need doodle boards or taggies.

what else, my hit counter restarted because i can't remember my username on their site. and green? well, it's the less eye-straining non-too-digital counter i have seen, so let it be.

and i'll be working out on my music box real soon, coz i really want the orchestra version of tears to be my bg music. and my cursor. :-)

complex simplicity... an oxymoron, right?

i had a hard time on this one!!! i can't put my tagboard, and i can't put music box (so i had to settle on this tiny mp3-code). i haven't even have my links yet. but i like it. but i hate that my cursor doesn't go down! i mean, if you will notice, my dancing stars cursor doesn't go down when you scroll down. and i don't have my top and bottom bars' marquee...

well, good morning. early blogging? not much to do, that's why.

it's been quite a while!

there were so many things that happened and i haven't got the chance to post them! and there were so many thoughts i wanted to write, for me to remember --- and for the world to know. but they're all gone now.

anyways, belated merry christmas and happy new year! and, um, happy birthday to me too. i wanted to blog last January 01, but got no time. then again on my birthday, but still didn't get the time!

but i wasn't out of town (wish i were though)

news, news:::

Jade's preggy! oh i'm a tita of my own at last! i only have nieces & nephews from my cousins.

what else? hm, i have been assigned to be the song leader for this month.

wish i can remember what i wanted to write, but... (sigh)