i went to a dentist today. "A" dentist because she wasn't MY dentist. i just thought of trying her out. it ended well, --um after i bribed her by asking if i can just pay for the whole session and go home.

i have a low tolerance on pain, that's why. i guess i spoil myself too much that i don't want anyone to hurt me. or maybe it's narcissism at an early stage (hahaha ---guess not!)

my mom has arrived. have to go.

i'm a little sad today. this morning i woke up at 4.30 a.m. and felt the heaviness in my heart because i am leaving in 15 days. the documents arrived yesterday,. and that's when it weighed on me -- i'm really leaving. the past days, i just took it lightly, but now it's kinda hard. when i think about it, it's like something's squeezing my heart, that's how painful it is.

if i have to think that i will be toooo far away, from all the people that i so care about and love, it's really so much reason for me to stay. but i really have to do this, for myself, most especially. i mean, i have many reasons to go, but i don't think it can back-up my whim if not for the fact that i HAVE TO do it for my own good.

i watched the youtube video on jade's profile, and it's amazing and awesome and a tear-jerker. the beauty of life, the amazing transitions and growth of something you never knew existed. and then there's the anticipation of the life that you bear inside you, and how blessed it is to be a mom. oh well, im just happy for her, for them, i mean. i'm just excited to see them. i'm excited to be with my sister.