Hello, 2014!

Wednesday, January 01, 2014

holiday

It's January! It's my birth month! ^_^ and it's 2014!

I am so excited for this year, really. I don't know why. But I am just...

I was actually a bit melancholic last night, just at home, watching Bridget Jones' Diary against the noises around me (being just 2 hours away from New Year's eve!) and I was alone, and only had my laptop and phone as my company...

But I went to the rooftop 5 minutes before 12 and watched the fireworks... Thanking God for all his blessings and grace, and for seeing us through 2013, and for letting us see 2014... And after that, I was fine already... I felt confident about this year. And seriously excited.

I suddenly want to do so many things.

One is, as inspired by the movie, I am gonna be hopeful in keeping a Diary this year, or a Journal which I hope to bring with me all the time. I want the conventional one, not a mobile application, as there's a bit disadvantage to that in case the phone gets broken, or missing.

I will also strive to be cautious in what I eat, and try to do that, really. The real challenge is that, today, being the first day when I am supposed to be on diet-watch, there are left-overs that I will feel sorry for once they get spoiled :( I feel bad already.

I also will have a BUCKET LIST. First time in my life, and I am up to the challenge of fulfilling whatever I will think of putting in there this 2014...

And I will also TRY MY BEST in doing the FMS Photo A Day Challenge. I tried so hard last year and I only had 10 photos in a month, at the most.

But now, see...


I made it my desktop wallpaper. I am that eager to accomplish that thing! 

And the challenge was brought upon me as soon as I read it. Coz by the time I have checked the list, I had already skipped DAY 1's. I woke up at 1 P.M. :( 

But then, I can still make up for it tomorrow! :) 

--AND I WILL!

Yey, I will. ^_^

No One BLOGS Anymore!

Saturday, July 27, 2013

blogging

The latest entries I've seen from other blogs were way back 2011!

And I speak for myself when I say --I blame Facebook!

Anyway I was thinking of what I have not blogged about since my hiatus, and there were some few significant events. I actually posted them in Posterous --which now just says Good night, Posterous! I was not even given the chance to back-up my files!

So I will be stating a few:


July 14, 2012. My grandparents celebrated their 52nd Wedding Anniversary!


August 3, 2012. My Lolo/Tatay passed away. My grandmother's been sad and sickly since then.




August 13, 2012. My monster mom, who fondly calls me her princess and was sorry she did not adopt me when I was younger, passed away too. This photo was taken in 2010.


I also had a puppy! His name was HAPPY. Sadly, he passed away too.

So, basically, I remembered only the sad events. It's not that nothing GOOD happened, maybe they're just not that significant. ^_^

Falling Star

Thursday, May 26, 2011

sad

i was sad tonight.


i'm tired as well. back and forth the hospital because of my brother.

before heading home, i took time to sit and just look at the night sky. as it was cloudless and no moon to outshine them. i realized it's been a long time since i last did that. and i remembered that i love star gazing, or at least my sister did and i just had to tag along with her. i miss my sister. i miss being a child and just live to live.
no worries, --but to nap in the afternoon!
no problem with how the world works... but with how your toy would.
no heartaches. --except when you have dressed up and they decided to just leave you behind.

i want to look at the stars more. but i still have to attend to my brother. now i'm gonna sleep.

p.s. i was lucky enough to see a meteorite...

9th of March

Wednesday, March 09, 2011

coffee

my "5" days off is almost coming to an end... tomorrow i have to think about going to work at 2.30

am again.

...so i'm spending time online :)

my thought for the day is:

"bakit kaya kahit hindi naman ako broken-hearted, feeling ko, nasasaktan ako?"

good one. di ba?
it's like, i don't have any reasons to be sad, but i feel like the night is sad. i feel like listening to sad songs and emote with the singer... basta, feel ko lang maging sad.

i don't want to be broken hearted, thanks. i do not vie for pain as well. there are just times, (must be pms?) that i just want to look out my window, look at the star (stars, if i'm lucky to have a clear sky) and just think about how far it is... (and now i realize how funny that is)

seriously, i get sad looking at the stars. well, not really sad, sometimes, just sentimental, or reflective -- thinking about life on earth, about my life on earth, and about other people's life on earth ;P

that's one of the reasons i love to go to Guimaras, the stars there are countless. unlike here, where stars are being outshined by the city lights.

kelan naman kaya......

btw, my migraine loves me today. i had it since yesterday, and after 2 celebrexes and 1 advil plus 12 or more hours of sleep, with just a cup of coffee and the forgotten dose of prayer, umalis din sya...

i'm sorry, Lord. i really tend to forget to pray when i get my migraine. this happened twice already, and i'm not proud of it.

i just want to let the whole world know-- when you feel something, don't think about what to do, what to reach out for first. take time to pray... it might save you hours bearing the burden.

learn from it, kristelle....

1-1-11

Saturday, January 01, 2011

movie

i'm supposed to watch Mamma Mia! and i forgot that i lent it to my one of my colleagues. so i watched Freaky Friday, second most watched movie in the house, and now, i am watching First Daughter, one personal favorite... movie marathon because i just like staying home, not that i am out a lot lately since i was sick.


New Year... aside from being sick, it was really sad for some reasons. so many reasons. although i love seeing fireworks.

and i don't know what to write.. yet. maybe later. or if not, maybe sometime soon. i just like to see a post with today's date... so.

EARLY BIRD...

Monday, December 06, 2010

christmas

woke up 5 am with a headache. (which reminds me... i need to get Panadol, i'm just too lazy to get up...)


i'm listening to Christmas songs while the Christmas lights are on, this is how I remind myself that it IS almost christmas.

i like Christmas, but there is always something sad about it. happy and sad, as always. exciting coz it's the time of gift-giving and seeing people we know. (or knew) and i never have figured out what's sad on that.

maybe... (it just occured now) maybe... because i never experienced having christmas with my family. meaning, my mother and father together with my sibs. yeah, maybe that's why...

and so i'm offering the simple phrase... (background music)

but i love organizing children's christmas party. i like seeing them happy and the fact that they don't have to go to my house come christmas day to ask for gift or anything since i have distributed them already, equally. :D well, there is more to those who won.

i just want to make a blog note of one client, by the way... she's keeping her son's account with us, not changing anything, saying she's willing to pay for the plan as long as she lives, just to be able to hear her son's voice mail greeting, as he has already passed away. sad but really touching.

that's all for now i guess... time to get the medicine. i am planning to watch movies all day.

IF... ;)

tday before the day before christmas -part II

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

christmas

i don't really know whether i'm happy or sad.


i'm happy coz my grannies are here.
i'm happy coz i finished my christmas tree.
i'm happy coz all of us went strolling to Luneta tonight.
i'm happy coz i don't have any grudges.
i'm happy coz my sister mentioned in her blog that i know everyone.
i'm happy coz it's gonna be christmas.

but...

i'm sad coz the first 12 minutes of the animated movie UP made me cry. first. 12. minutes.
i'm sad coz i still hurt. (yes, may pakiramdam po ako)
i'm sad coz i got hungry tonight, and my feet swell.
i'm sad coz i'm alone.
and i'm sad coz it's gonna be christmas.

there's really something about christmas that makes me happy and sad all at the same time. i'm gonna find that out. gotta sleep now!

what the freakin' fruits happened to my blog???

are you happy?

Monday, June 01, 2009

Bahrain

our company driver asked this of me while on the way home. of course, i thought about it thoroughly before i answered......

"no, im not happy" (remembering Mr. Incredible's conversation with his boss: "i'm not happy bob...")

and i was reprimanded! "you should be happy. God gave you all. why are you not happy?"

eh sa hindi nga ako masaya eh...

Of course I AM grateful for all my faculties. i am always thankful for my voice which i use to sing for Him, praise Him... and converse with people. for having complete sets of body parts, (and teeth!) and my eyes, and everything...

but as of now, living and working 4,576 miles from home, how can I possibly be happy?

but of course I can't tell that to him! it's just hard. conversing... :D

sleeping over now at irish's flat. i had a lasagna dinner at macaroni grill, which just opened their bahrain branch 3 or 4 days ago. it was bland. or i just can't reach the pepper coz the table was so wide! their table top was covered with white sheet of paper, and beside the condiments, were crayons.

very creative. of course if they out on something like that, the customers won't notice (so much) that they've been waiting for almost an hour for their food. and when the food has finally been served, you can spill sauce anywhere, anytime you like. coz it'll be your doodles (or drawings if you're much of an artist) you'll be staining, not the table cloth.

we've had few dips on the (cool and salty) pool... and now we're ready to hit the sack. nytnyt.

baby P and grandma Amelia

Sunday, May 24, 2009

blogging

i've read the articles about them on the periodical today, as my routine is always the same - house, pass by a cold store to buy iced tea, work, get the periodicals, sit, and read. i'd be glad to finish the sudoku on it, coz that's just what i do -- sit.


i have been close to my grandma, because she was the one who's seen us grow. although she wasn't as doting as a normal one would be, she would always ensure our well-being. she wasn't the demonstrative type who'd hug and spoon-feed you. but i love her just the way she is. if she were a little different, we would have grown SPOILED BRATS. i'm sure. i can say we are spoiled, but we aren't brats. if she would succumb to our whining, we really will not be the way we are today. 

modesty aside, my siblings and i, as far as i can say, we were humbled by our childhood. not much privileges of a normal child whose parents were both abroad, not much new toys or nice school things because our grandma prefers Baclaran than SM! but by that, she has established in us a simple way of living. not too pompous, and not boastful. i can almost imagine how boastful my brothers would be if they were given all the good toys? kids are like that... and we appreciate every little luxury that comes our way. because our grandma taught us that.

maybe that's the reason why i have a big heart for the elderly. i know my brothers do too, as they tell me if they see an old person and they feel pity if he/she looks weary. and that's why i was touched by grandma Amelia's story. she was a blogger, (yeah i was shocked, too) 95-year-old blogger. telling her life before the people, inspiring and encouraging with every single day she has lived to tell. and now she's gone. she logged off for the last time. she has lived her life to the fullest. and she had been given the time to tell it.

the other person on my title is the complete opposite... really heartbreaking to tell. he's a 17-month old baby. ruthlessly abused by his mother, and her beau. HE WAS JUST 17-MONTHS. he doesn't know how it was to be angry. kids, are forgiving. do all you want to do to them, but they will still love to have your hug. he doesn't know how the world worked. how cruel some people are, and unfortunately for him, he was living with two of them under the same roof. but he does know how to love. and no one he loved gave him back the same.

he lived only for 17 months. he wouldn't be seen biking, wooing girls, getting married, and become old. he wouldn't be heard singing, or even be introduced to cellphone! he will never know the internet. and he couldn't make a blog anymore, just like grandma Amelia... yet he touched lives. only the painful way...

i feel so terrible. not for him, but because of him.

this brought me a thought. young or old. happy or sad. in agony or in waiting... all of us will go one day. what have we left behind? all our riches, all the fame, all the things of this world will just pass away. years will come, and all that's left are memories. memories of the happy days, and some sad. why not make it each day worthwhile? one really never knows what tomorrow will bring. only God knows.

I am 25...

Monday, January 05, 2009

birthday

:(


i'm not happy. it wasn't a happy birthday at all...

although... i really appreciate lahat ng bumati sa akin... whether it be through SMS, friendster comment, and personal greeting... and for the gifts. yung iba, material, yung iba gift of friendship. i really appreciate it.

but i'm not happy talaga. i am so disappointed. but still, thank you po Jesus, kasi i am alive. naabutan ko pa ang 25th birthday ko, despite all the hardships di ba? and all the paranoia.

hay... let's begin the silver year. whatever is in store for me, God only knows.....

the day before the day before christmas...

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

holiday

how do i start?


all i know is that i am sad. coz it's gonna be christmas but i am here. i don't even want to know that it's christmas, except when somebody greets me, which annoys me most of the time. and then my sister will play some christmas songs, i really have to hold back my tears. it's just too difficult.

it's an advantage that they don't celebrate christmas here. means, i don't have to really feel it. except most of the time, it really sinks in. and i'm more than sad.

i really don't want to celebrate. when some friends invite me, i just say i am not in a celebratory mood. it's gonna be superficial if i become happy for the moment. i don't wanna force myslef to be happy. coz i am not.

one happy thought for today is the message i received in my friendster. it made my day. and that jared is starting to grab the ref magnets. that's a first.

about to sleep...

Saturday, August 09, 2008

Bahrain

i don't know why i'm sad today. maybe they've noticed, kuya francis called me "emo" when he looked at the rearview mirror of his car and i was keeping my silence back there, on the way home from Seef Mall.


truth is, i really wanted to cry. i just can't find the right time and place. i think its time to admit that this is the lowest point of my life. we all come to that one way or another... and my time has come.

i have so many reasons:
1. i am so far from my home church
2. i don't like the people
3. OP ako kahit saan, kahit sa bahay
4. i miss my bed -- so much
5. i don't like my job... nasasayang na ang training ko! wala na, panis na... and i always strive to get the job that i love. it's very important to me that i am loving my work, i am loving what i am doing. but i'm left with no choice. 
6. i don't like my superiors
7. i don't like my place of work
8. i don't understand the people -- plus they're not so happy people, they're war-freak even.
9. i really don't like the people
10. i am always inferior -- which has never -- ever-- happened.

so now comes the big question: how long can i put up with all these? i need the strength. Lord, please give me patience... but if there's one wish that i could be granted, that would be to make the days go fast. fastest there could ever be. 

i wanna go to my bed...

what title?

Thursday, September 07, 2006

death

i'm still sort of grieving... i can't accept the fact that my "nanay" left me... i so often catch myself pensive, almost about to burst into tears. and when i do realize that i'm getting sentimental, i just smile, which is more like to say, "you're crazy"... well... almost.

i just can't understand why. why did she have to inquire for my number? then she would just leave me? it would have been a little unnoticed if only we didn't communicate on the month that she was to die...

i don't blame her, though. i blame the circumstances, the situation... how could she be so far away? why can't i see her before the tomb seals her away from me?

i want to sit next to her... hear her sing again, see her smile... but it's all gone now. i can only hear her now in memories... watch her in our classroom in my dreams...

sometimes i wish it's just a joke, or a dream... or better yet, a movie. after all the hard scenes, after that the characters die, we'll be able to see them still on the premiere, or on the next movie... that it really isn't over for them yet.

death itself is just the beginning for those that were left. the the hardest part for me is the acceptance, and the dealing with the fact that in the future, there'll be no "nanay" waiting for me in Guimaras.

remember when i posted that Guimaras is my favorite province? it's kind of dim now. i so much want to remember it as beautiful... white sands, almost green shore, and a happy place. i'm a different person when i'm there. i'm worry-free.

but lately, the name gives me pain, oil slick now ruined more than half of the entire shoreline... people are sickly and the sea creatures dead... even the whales ran away from their habitat...

i reposted "THIS" on my friendster blog after i posted it on my bulletin board.

and i got a sensible reply:
"in time, everything will be destroyed, missed or lost, but your heart will be the home of a thousand memories that will never be lost for as long as you are breathing."
... from jedAi, (my OldEr sis who's nOw bound by the ties of marrej.)

king theoden in the lord of the rings said that one shouldn't grieve for someone whose time has come... but can it be helped? once i was always so excited to go back to my former school... but now, i doubt if i can even get near Guimaras without shedding a bucketful of tears, let alone step on the school ground with a smile.

here I am now, in Bulacan...

Saturday, May 20, 2006

sad

i'm waiting for Jedai to go online...

it's so sad :-( i want to go home. i don't even know where home is... :-(

the place we've moved in doesn't appeal as a "home" to me. that's why i went here. extending my vacation once again.

i went home, or i went out of Guimaras, rather, tuesday, may 16 &  boarded superferry 15 at 12 noon. it's supposed to leave at 12.45 but i think it left the iloilo port at 1.45... they were all telling me to stay longer back at lola's house but i had to go.

jade's here. post again next time...

kaya lang ang dami pa. we went to buhang... i liked hemadee kasi she's sweet... i don't want my lolo there... i have so big problems...

but i've to go now.